St. Francis Church
Annual Meeting
January 25, 1998
Warden's Report
Wyn Achenbaum has been sending me a humor from the Internet, scoured from --of all places-- Anglican church web sites. She recently sent me an email about a retiring warden who left her predecessor a list of things she would need to do the job. Among her top eight items was “a bottle of really good scotch.” And now I understand the wisdom in having a MOFE dinner the night before our annual meeting.
Wyn suggested that I start a St. Francis’ tradition of passing on the “wisdom”, or folklore, of the Vestry. So in the spirit of Robert Fulgum and others, I would like to briefly look back over the past four years in terms of lessons learned, so that others can be clear about how to repeat the mistakes and rediscover the successes.
I suppose if I were to title this talk, I would call it “All I really needed to know about the church I learned on the Vestry.”
When I thought about what to say about the past four years, I first thought about citing some facts and figures. For example, how our budget has grown from a low of $237K three years ago to an expected $305K for the coming year. Or how our average Sunday attendance is up strongly from an average of 108 in early 1994 to 144 in the past few months. Or how our pledges grew from $207K to $230K. And I was proud of how we ended a three year decline and made a strong financial turnaround in as much time, with the highest forecasted receipts and expenditures in our history.
I also thought about significant accomplishments we have made together in this brief period. I remember the special appeal in 1994 that closed our budget gap, and the lease with Canaan Ridge School, the strong consensus vote in 1996 to build a new church here on the parish house site. And how in 1995 we rallied around our priest in his hour of need.
These are all good things upon which to reflect, but it is not the full story. For the first lesson I learned is that (1) growth in numbers is from growth in heart. And it the story of how we have grown in heart that has made the difference for me.
When I talk about the growth in heart, I want to start with the spirit of volunteering that we nurture at St. Francis. It is this service to each other that is, for me, a living out of Jesus command to love our neighbor. And we do this in so many ways. What I learned early during my term, and anew in the past year, is that when you give of yourself you truly receive. So my challenge to each of you is that if you are looking to get more out of your experience here at St. Francis, ask how you can help, volunteer: give of your time and talent.
I want to add that volunteering is also about asking each other for help. The reason I became active in St. Francis is that in 1991 someone asked me to join a task force to help review the annual Antiques Show. I next joined the stewardship committee, and then was asked to become a Vestry member. So, for me, the second lesson was that (2) Volunteering is responding to a call.
Each time I was asked to participate, and I did --sometimes with strong interest and sometimes with great reluctance. Take for instance how I found myself in this position in the first place. In December 1993, Richard came to me and asked if I would serve as warden. My first answer was “no.” At the time I was commuting to downtown NY and finding it difficult to make the monthly Vestry meetings at 8:00 PM, having dinner on the run as a quick sandwich on the train. But I found that at least a third of the Vestry was doing the same. We had a strong chorus of growling stomachs adding the punctuation to our prayers. And what this said to me was that although we all have very busy lives, we can make time to serve, to give back to our community, to give of ourselves. So I learned that volunteering is also making time to respond.
When I said “no” to Richard's invitation, he continued, in his gentle yet persistent manner. I remember him asking to see me a second time one evening. He said that the Spirit was nudging him that this was meant to be. Now how do you say “no” to a divine nudge? I didn't have a clue. And so we began. The third lesson I learned is that (3) when the Spirit nudges, listen.
Another lesson was more serious, and more difficult. It was that (4) the love you give to others is your primary moral statement. I vividly remember the vestry meetings in 1993 and 1995 when we wrestled with the questions of sexuality and the priesthood. These were agonizing discussions, full of deeply felt beliefs and years of personal experience and upbringing. But in all our debate about what was the right thing to do, was the common thread about how each one of us was touched by the ministry of this special man in our midst who had loved and continues to love each of us. And in the end that is what mattered most. Regardless of how you feel about the debate about sexuality in the Episcopal Church remember this.
The fifth lesson I learned was that (5) our faith is shown in the response we give to suffering. One of the most meaningful experiences I had as warden was at Stamford hospital as part of the rotation of parishioners that sat with Edward in the weeks before he died. And I have seen this again and again in the parish. St. Francis is the most compassionate community I know for rising to aid of each other when we experience a loss. This happens when a loved one dies, as much as when someone falls ill, is injured, even divorced.
I also learned that (6) The priesthood of believers is ministering to each other. We sometimes take for granted our priests. There are times when they need our ministry to them. I learned this when Richard lost Edward. And for me this was a deeply personal experience and it came back to me strongly during the past year. I found that as Richard was there for me, I could be there for him. And as I was there for Richard he was there for me. It is this sharing in the ministry to each other that I believe is what being a member of the body of Christ is most about.
I also learned that (7) Listening is hard; and listening is prayer. During those times when we were in turmoil are the times I would get the calls, the chatter after committee meetings, or the stop-in-the-hall, to hear your concerns about what was happening. And it was at times hard to listen. But I found that listening and acknowledging each other's concerns was better than debate. And occasionally I heard things with which I agreed. And more often than not I had the sense that God was speaking in these encounters, in these little clips of history. So I became expectant of learning the way we should go precisely from these discussions. I have become a believer that dialog is a form of prayer, and that the truth often rises out of its midst. One of the best things we can do on our committees is to approach our meetings with this in mind, to go around the table and hear what each ones feels. The message is in this doing.
A harder lesson was that (8) chaos is part of Creation, and chaos calls for humility. John Lennon wrote in a song to his son that “Life is what happens when you are making other plans.” I found this true a number of times over the past four years, but especially so in the last year. We entered 1997 solid and confident in our plans to press ahead and build a new church. But then there was the matter of our architects dream and our dream being on two different wavelengths. And one wave cost twice as much as the other! This was an upsetting year in many ways. We had to rethink what we were doing. And while a natural response is frustration and anger, I found in the end that a little bit of chaos can remind us that we live in God's history, and occasionally we need to stop, listen and go in a new direction. This is a very humbling experience. But change is an opportunity for growth, growing pains notwithstanding.
With this experience on the Building Committee, I also learned that (9) buildings are about gathering together in our diversity. It was Charles Fulton, who I spoke about a few months ago, who taught me this lesson. If we are gathering together a diverse community of people in this place of worship, we need to provide facilities that reflect our diversity of needs. And our old church and more modern parish house are fulfilling a diverse set of needs. We need to embrace them as gifts, and celebrate the ways in which they help us meet our needs.
In closing, I would like to say that it has been a privilege to serve you these past four years, and it has been a blessing in more ways than I can fully describe.
I want to thank Richard and Molly for their care and support. I want to thank my co-wardens: Alice Smith and Ann Moore. I also am thankful for my advisors: Tom Hitchcock and John Cooper. I want to thank old and new vestry members, and those with whom I served on committees. And I want to thank Frank Baker for taking the baton and running this race into the future. Together with Ann Moore, they represent a strong and vital leadership that that I am confident will mean great things for us in the future. And finally I want to thank all of you. I would like to leave you with one very personal thought that has meant a great deal to me, something you have all taught me: that (10) family are those who choose to love you because of who you are, in spite of who you are.
Santanyana said that those who ignore history are damned to repeat it. But I have also learned that those who listen to history are blessed with the voice of angels. You are that voice. Remember this! Thank you.
--Ed Happ
Warden
All I really needed to know about the church I learned on the Vestry.
Ten lessons I learned over the past four years:
1. Growth in numbers is from growth in heart.
2. Volunteering is responding to a call; volunteering is also making time to respond.
3. When the Spirit nudges, listen.
4. The love you give to others is your primary moral statement.
5. Our faith is shown in the response we give to suffering.
6. The priesthood of believers is ministering to each other, and to our ministers.
7. Listening is hard, dialog is prayer.
8. Chaos is part of Creation, chaos calls for humility.
9. Buildings are about gathering together in our diversity
10. Family are those who choose to love you because of who you are, in spite of who you are.
--Ed Happ
Warden
A personal St. Francis' Time Line
8/91 - I join St. Francis
1/92? - Antiques show task force
4/92 - I join Stewardship Committee
1/93? - I join the Vestry
8/93 - Richard's letter about Edward
8/93 - Clyde Patten dies, Tom Hitchcock is appointed interim warden.
9/93 - Vestry wrestles with issues
1/94 - Budget = $257,493, Pledges = $212,914; $25K budget shortfall
2/94 - Special parish appeal
3/94 - Planning Committee begins work
1/95 - Planning Committee Report
2/95 - Facilities Committee begins work
8/95 - Joade leaves
9/95 - Richard's 50th birthday
11/95 - Facilities Committee Report
11/95 - Edward dies
12/95 - Advocate article
1/96 - Molly joins staff
5/96 - Delores dies
9/96 - Architect selection recommendation
11/96 - Parish Program meetings; Jubilee celebration begins
1/97 - Building Committee Report?
3/97 - Vestry wrestles with architect issues
4/97 - My separation
6/97 - John Cooper dies
9/97? - Barbara Crafton meditation
10/97 - Pro Arte commission
11/97 - Jubilee Celebration - conclusion
12/97 - Building Committee Report
1/98 - budget = $303,000, pledges = $229,000
Document last modified on: 02/03/1998
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